as i look back at my life, a life filled with bliss and pitfalls... parang nakikinita ko ang sarili, bilang ako, bilang isang tao. clock is ticking... clock is ticking... when the bell rings... you know what that means. hello! Ma, this is one email i got from one of my egroups. in the words of Fox News... i had so much happening during the gaps between my posts... i mean a lot of things. and i mean a lot... I managed.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
on turning 23... a treatise on myself... my life at a glance...
i turn a year older, hopefully, a year wiser. a year better.
salamat sa lahat ng bumati. kaunti sila, pero they took time to greet me.
wish ko for me:
world peace and a world free from poverty
a country free from political instability and threats of coups, etc...
permanence with my current employer
success for my friends
be with "that" person... (kung sino ka man)
to be at peace with myself
in the end, i want to be happy, and the world around me to be happy.
salamat sa inyo, panginoon. salamat. i may not be your ideal believer, but alam mo kung ano ang lugar mo sa akin. guide me always.
i sojourn forward into the unknown. bring it on.
astig ng batman begins. grabe. wow. it's so different from the Batman we used to know.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
144 years ago today...
happy birthday... your death will NEVER EVER be in vain.
check it out. end poverty.
anyhow, i have spent time on the contro-blog-sy and i felt that i have overreacted on the issue. in the heat of battle, one often says things that we should not say.
i cannot blame the person for speaking her mind. it brings back memories of a batchmate of mine who wrote about the JGSOM hoo-hah. i guess we cannot fault her for being frank, blunt, and direct. sinabi nga sa egroup namin. let's move on to the other more pressing issues, like saving the world from poverty and all that.
Monday, June 13, 2005
yesterday was one of the most otherworldy experience i had ever. it was so absolutely weird and bizarre.
what do i mean?
the presence of other mystical beings in the house where i visited. it freaked me out in such a way that it just plain darn caught me. kaya yun, dumaan ako ng 230pm roon, nakauwi na ako ng 330am. kinalibutan ako, like crazy.
kanina, on my friend's suggestion, i went back and technically stayed there the whole day. umuwi lang ako para magbihis at to get myself ready for the upcoming work week. so there, hayun.
sinabihan ako to alter some things and tone down as well. hopefully, i did not anger some of these ethereal forces.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
because she deserves more than being an offshoot of negativity...
Happy Birthday yesterday! I love you. You may not know that because I sometimes act like an idiot, pero mahal kita.
Your loving son,
an essay that would drive people nutty.... (esp since it's one of our own..)
We report, You decide...
note: i removed the ps and pps... ang haba...
yeah i fucking hate it okay.
ateneo isnt a school, it's a religion.
i dont think it's a far stretch to reiterate the fact that i do not buy into religion.
my orsem experience was heinous. i cant talk even talk about it. and if i have ONE MORE UPPERCLASSMAN scream, "MOOOOB!!! MOOOB!!! FASTER ANO BA KAYO FASTER!!! MOOOOB!! (move, move, faster, what are you people, faster)" in my face, im going to scream. hello power trippers! i wonder if they really get to wield that much power on a daily basis. im guessing not.. and you cant run faster when ten people are standing/walking/running in front of you. hello logistics.
on the other hand, my tnt guy, nyoy, was great and he really tried to make things go smoothly. he was really nice. if i got a sucky tnt that probably wouldve made things completely unbearable. the head of my department was not bad e ither and i really dont mind studying there so much as dealing with the culture and everything it entails (WHICH IS UNAVOIDABLE BECAUSE I HAVE AN UNCREDITED CLASS FOR ATENEO CULTURE).
i dont know how im going to survive, but i know im going to max out my cuts and absences as much as humanly possible.
i ordered my application for st. mary's today. im going to write my essay over the weekend.
i broke out of this system once and i will do everything in my power to do it again.
i dont even have pictures because the refugee-camp-in-a-3rd-world-prison conditions of orsem (including the 3-hour running tour of the campus) were too depressing to take.
everyone tells a fairytale story about the jesuits but what about all the people they burned, tortured, and generally fucked over? i mean, hello conversations with hitler! they werent expelled from portugal, spain, france, russia (and other places that i cant remember anymore) for nothing. and not only did they burn, torture, and massacre but they've got some serious brainwashing...*ahem* THEOLOGY that goes on even today and is largely evident in the simple homily of the orsem mass which consisted shamefully of about ten permutations of these statements:
-you shouldnt feel like a big shot just because ateneo is the best and now you're one of the privileged few who are a part of it
-you shouldnt be mayabang just because ateneo is the best
-you should thank god that you were given this opportunity to study in the best school and receive the best education
uh yeah, whatever! didnt i read something about humility being one of the gifts or fruits of the holy spirit or some shit like that? the hypocrisy of it all!!!
(and im not sure whether it was one of the priests who said this or a different speaker, but he went on to mention how lucky the people who came out of zobel, lsgh, and other la salle schools are to have finally "seen the light" and gone the blue an d white way)
i never thought i'd miss ism so much. i never thought id want to see everyone from school so bad that i dont know who i'd kill to do it. you dont know what a relief it was everytime i saw kito and anisha. and of course, mika, who was by my side most of the time. it was even a relief to see kelvin (who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, much to kito's and my surprise). i just want to go back to highschool in ism i cant take it. it's like someone took away my security blanket. MY CASHMERE SECURITY BLANKET!
it works for other people, and it really might be the best place for other people. but it's impossible that this place is for everyone..and it just really isnt for me.
okay im probably just really pissed off about the jesuits. i bet if there wasnt so much jesuit brainwashing going on i'd complain a lot less. just about the heat or something superficial like that.
the long and winding road.... to nowhere man...
broken hearted... again...
remember the i managed post... that afternoon / evening, i met again someone special. unfortunately, she had her new boyfriend in tow. bago man lang ako makapag-plano para makuha yung puso niya, someone beat me to her. grrr.... i felt so miserable auditing that day...
auditing seems simple, yet it entails tedious work. i am getting better, just need to improve on the finer things, which will come with time.
the return trip to calamba
last week, the company held its "rainy outing" at calamba, near where my friend's office had their anniversary partee... sobrang fun at astig. got to meet and know the more or less 50 employees comprising NuComm. there were some that caught my fancy. and i mean that. the competition brought out my aggressive and competitive spirit. sayang nga lang at i finished third in the videoke category. (darn, i can't even sing the classic, "chestnuts roasting on an open fire...")
that is the theme of this year's orsem. an orsem that i am disappointed to observe. ewan ko, maybe things are different now from when i was active (and i mean active).
kakadisappoint ang mga taga-cov courts. i just feel bad. it was dull. when i was a volunteer, orsem was never dull. they are so lackadasical. kaka-depress... tapos, you just come across this email kanina... something i'll post here later on. nevertheless, hopefully, the event was a success.
politics today is so ridiculous. however, my work schedule at NuComm prevents me pretty much from being updated with the other events. imagine, jueteng rearing its ugly head, then the shenanigans over a piece of wiretapped material. sheesh.
kanina, we saw history. we saw "iron" mike tyson's last fight. ali was there, i reflect on him and in doing so, i can say he is parallel with ali. the best fighter of his generation (ali is the best of the heavyweights, if not the best of all time) and ended similarly. good luck to him.
i am going with san antonio in 7 games. two evenly-matched teams, with smart and solid coaching.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Managed to get my 1st paycheck today. It was meager, since I just started, but at least, it's still a paycheck.
Managed to revisit Ateneo. After three weeks.
Managed to have fun. Yeah.
Managed to be myself. Still I am whatever I wanna be.
as i look back at my life, a life filled with bliss and pitfalls... parang nakikinita ko ang sarili, bilang ako, bilang isang tao.
clock is ticking... clock is ticking... when the bell rings... you know what that means.
this is one email i got from one of my egroups. in the words of Fox News...
i had so much happening during the gaps between my posts... i mean a lot of things. and i mean a lot...