this was written by Miguel Lizada and i sought his consent before posting. enjoy reading.

(note: i combined the the 3 posts into one long post)

The Battle of Ateneo

by Miguel Lizada

Adapted from the Battle at Hogwarts in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

Harry: Father Nebres! Bro. Armin is coming! He is bringing all the La Salle brothers and some Tomasians with him. Including Mama Goldie and her giant tigers.

Fr. Nebres: We must evacuate the students then. Marlu, Rudy, Fabian and Joey gather all students from your respective schools and assemble them in the Covered Courts. We also need to set up defensive spells all over the campus.

Fr. Dacanay: My team of exorcists are ready to fight them. But they seem to many. We just have to see if we can hold them back.

Marlu Vilches: The School of Humanities can summon mythical creatures to help defend us. The English Department professors are summoning creatures from Dante's Inferno and Greek Mythology as we speak. The Filipino Department is summoning all the manananggals and white ladies from the haunted trees on campus...

Fr. Ferriols: The Philosophy professors are summoning our own monsters. They are emerging from the Meron Pond as we speak.

Fabian Dayrit: Now is the time to test the new chemicals and inventions we have been making inside our labs in SEC.

Rudy Ang: I have just received a call from MVP. He is sending alumni reinforcements from Makati soon.

Jun Dalandan: The Deathly Hellos are coming as well.

Tim Gabuna: My apples are ready to fight as well. GO CERSA!

Fr. Nebres: Excellent. Excellent. Now Harry. Aren't you supposed to be looking for something?

Harry: Oh yes.

Fr. Nebres: Then go! Harry! Go!

Harry: Ron! So far we have destroyed the bow and arrow of De La Salle. The tiger fur coat of Mama Goldie. The horns of the Tamaraw Mascot. and the beak of the Adamson Falcons. I need you and Hermoine to find the manuscript of Noli me Tangere. I need to find the cross of St. Robert Bellarmine! Bro. Armin has turned those into a Horcrux! Then we need to destroy those using the sword of St. Ignatius.

Ron: We are on it!

Voice of Bro. Armin: I KNOW YOU ARE PREPARING TO FIGHT! You are no match for us! We are the La Salle brothers. And we have allied ourselves with some of the Dominicans of UST. You cannot win against us, Jesuits. You have tried to suspend us. But we are back! Push the limit! Animo Spirit! Give us Harry Potter and the sword of St. Ignatius and we will let you live! We will even let you win some of the games.

Fr. Dacanay: Inferior priests! We will not surrender. Tessa, what is that?

Tessa Rosana: This is the gong I use in class remember? But I bewitched it already, noh?. Once I hit it, the sound will be loud and powerful enough to knock them all out, noh?

Fr. Nebres: Good plan, Tessa! *Joey Cruz SJ arrives* Joey where have you been?

Joey Cruz: I am sorry. I just finished briefing my school. The History Department is ready to fight as well. David Lozada III is summoning the 300 Spartans from his class notes while JoEd Tirol is summoning the Allied forces from his World War II text.

Fr. Nebres: What about the other departments?

Joey Cruz: Fr. Bulatao and the Psychology department are locked inside the SocSci conference room right now. They are planning to use their psychic powers to attack the La Salle brothers' minds.

Fr. Nebres: A well conceived plan. And here comes the PE department and their atheltic professors. Excellent, excellent.

Ricky Palou: I have roused all athletes as well. They are here to help as well, father. Especially since La Salle brought their archers as well.

Fr. Nebres: Good. Now, let's see what I can do.... *sways his hand. All statues in the University. Even the Blue Eagle in the Blue Eagle Gym has come to life* Ateneo is in danger! Do your duty to the school! Protect us! Defend us! One Big Fight!

Chapter 2: More Help

The voice came from nowhere as before: "I can see you are not listening! It is such a pity. What happened to your Prayer for Generosity? Give me Harry Potter and the Sword of St Ignatius. Give without counting the cost, you always say! You have until midnight."

Fr. Dacanay, interrupting his briefing with his exorcists turned and said "The idiot is taking the prayer out of context. Besides, St Ignatius also said to fight without fear of being wounded. And we will do just that."

Three figures -- two women and a man -- suddenly appeared. "We are from the Department of Sociology and Anthropology" said the man.

"Ricky Abad!" Fr. Nebres exclaimed.

"I brought with me our Department Chair Bopeep Saloma-Akpedonu. And this is Czarina Medina, one of our newest lecturers. We apologize for being late. We were preparing our I-bombs."

"I-bombs? What out I-bombs" Nebres asked.

"Ideology bombs. Once they detonate, they will spread false consciousness in the area -- the La Salle brothers and the Tomasians will think they are winning. It is all false really. We will use their pride against them."

"Excellent. Excellent." Nebres said. "And here comes Andrew Ty and Mark Escaler for the Department of Communication."

*thanks Kamyl for this bit on the Comm dept.*

"Yes!" Escaler said "we will infiltrate their communication processes by adding "noise" and ambiguity between the message relay of the sender and the receiver so orders can be reversed and thwarted!"

"The creatures from my horrror films are coming!" Andrew Ty said. "We will use them to our advantage!"

"Father President! Some people are coming!" somebody shouted.

Some five hundred people then appeared from nowhere. Wearing either red or white shirts, they marched towards Nebres. They stopped a few meters from the President. A young man then stepped forward.

"We are from the University of the Philippines." said the young man. "For years, our academic communities have built a strong relationship with each other. We have "shared" professors. We went to rallies together. We have had our differences. Yes. But in the end, our similarities and accomplishments outweigh our differences... We are here to help! We are honored to fight with Ateneo once more!"

Cheers and applause errupted from all sides.

"Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baba from the hill" the Ateneans cheered

****

Fifteen minutes to midnight.

The School of Humanities stood with their mythical creatures summoned from the Classics, and the haunted trees and the gigantic swamp creatues from the Meron pond.

The John Gokongwei School of Management with their reinforcements from Makati, along with Venus Ibarra, Ricky Pilar and other professors.

The School of Science and Engineering with their mysterious inventions and weapons.

The School of Social Sciences with their unique yet powerful defensive weapons; the Psychology Department ready for the psy-war.

The Ateneo Professional Schools ready to defend their Loyola-based counterparts; the two fraternities in the Law School forging a temporary alliance.

The Alumni, the D.A. (Dalandan's Army) The statues of Tomas More, Horacio dela Costa, the Blue Eagle all come to life. The students from U.P.

Two horcruxes left.

*************

Five minutes.

Now all is still, where Loyola's colors fly.

Chapter 3 One Big Fight

Midnight.

There was a burst of light emanating from the sky, brighter than the moon and the stars. What seemed like a horde of fireflies turned out to be arrows. Thousands of arrows. Tips on fire.

The arrows struck the Blue Eagle Gym. The oldest building in the University. The symbol of their athletic pride. Now aflame.

Toby Dayrit, the Dean of the School of the Science and Engineering tossed a beaker of water to the burning building. He pointed his wand at the beaker now mid-air and shouted his spell “Magis.” The water transformed into a surf huge enough to douse the fire. The Blue Eagle Gym was safe.

The archers outside roared their disappointment. But not to be outdone, they shot again this time targeting the Erenchun soccer field where some of the Ateneans were camped. Nebres pointed his wand at the arrows raining from the sky and shouted his incantation “Cura personalis” and the thousand arrows turned into bubbles.

The Ateneans cheered. The first two attacks of the LaSallians and the Tomasians have been thwarted.

“You have had your fun, Ateneans.” a voice boomed. “Now it is time to get serious”

Darkness suddenly enveloped the University – the enemy had sabotaged their electricity. Immediately all the Ateneans took out and flickered their wands, “Lux in Domino” they chanted. Light emanated from all the wands.

The illumination came just in time as suddenly a stampede crushed the fences between Gate 2 and Gate 2.5. The Ateneans have realized the magnitude of their danger: it was not just the LaSallians or even just the Tomasians they were confronting; the other schools were there as well. A thousand green archers were riding the backs of the giant tigers of UST. Charging with them were the giant tamaraws and a hundred warriors whose bodies were painted red war paint. Above, falcons were soaring in the sky.

“YOU FOUL THINGS, noh?” somebody from the Ateneo crowd shouted, charging at the stampede; it was Tessa Rosana “How dare you attack us, noh? You don’t know who you are dealing with, noh? TAKE THIS, noh?” She hit her gong with all her might. A powerful sound wave spread throughout the area knocking a hundred archers and animals out.

“HA… noh?” she triumphantly yelled.

And so the other Ateneans started counterattacking as well. David Lozada and his 300 Spartans. Angela Serrano and her ROTC cadettes. The mythical creatures of the School of Humanities. The DA: Dalandan’s army.

Ricky Abad and the Department of Sociology soon deployed their Ideology Bombs prompting some of the LaSallians to cheer instead of fighting “Strawberry shortcake nananananana.” “Recticano! Recticano” – allowing some of the Ateneans to easily knock the LaSallians out.

The LaSalle brothers and Mama Goldie were outside, watching the battle, waiting for their turn to strike.

A handful of LaSallians were found trotting back to their base

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” Mama Goldie asked

“You told us to retreat!” the archer said.

“You idiot! That’s just Escaler and Bulatao toying with your minds! Go back! That’s it! I am joining the battle!”

Mama Goldie of UST then stepped forward lifted her two arms and shouted “Tiger Power! Raar! Tiger Power! Raar! Tiger Power! Raar!” The LaSalle brothers thought she had lost her mind. But then she suddenly transformed into a giant tigress, twice larger and fiercer than the ordinary tigers. Seeing their comrade ready and willing to fight, the LaSallians cheered.

“HOY!” Goldie the Tiger roared “NO CHEERING DURING BATTLE! NO CHEERING!” Then she advanced.

Her first target was Fr. Dacanay who was busy exorcising some of the archers and paralyzing them.

“FATHER! Behind you!”

Quickly, Dacanay whirled and performed his own counterattack “Expellus Inferius” blasting Goldie into the middle of the Erenchun field, knocking her out.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” The La Salle brothers shouted upon seeing their comrade down. “It is time we even this score.”

The earth began to quake. And out of the night came a gigantic robot. It was DLRT; the LaSallians had transformed and brought the LRT-1 which passed Taft Avenue into a robot.

DLRT was making quick work of the Ateneans and their creatures… crushing the mythical creatures here and there, tossing the trees brought to life by the Department of Environmental Science.

“Let us not lose hope!” Nebres said. “We are after all committed to hope.”

“Now is not the time to talk about GK, Nebres!” Dacanay said

“I am not talking about GK. I am talking about SECtor.”

He pointed his wand the Science Education Complex. The building shook and assembled itself into a robot. SEC A was the head and the torso. SEC B became the left arm and leg and SEC-C became the right.

“SECtor.” Nebres said “Attack!”

DLRT was no match and quickly collapsed under the strength of SECtor.

“Fr Nebres!” Harry Potter appeared. “Two horcruxes have been destroyed and…”

“Animo La Salle!” “Animo La Salle!” “Animo La Salle!” there shouts and screams. The LaSalle brothers had entered the battle. They were using their most powerful spell: The Animo LaSalle – the Killing Curse!

Finale: The Animo Wand

Ateneans were dropping dead left and right. The Animo La Salle curse was unblockable. But Harry had a plan.

“Enough! Voldemort! Where are you? You have been using the LaSallians and the other schools to come after me. Where are you?”

“I am here, Potter.” a voice hissed. The voice came from Bro. Armin.

“Brother Armin?”

“No! I am Voldemort! See?” he wrote the word Armind then with a flicker of his wand the word became Voldemort.

“I don’t get it.” Harry said

“Ako rin!” an Atenean said.

“Ha? Paki-ulit daw” another one shouted.

“How did Armind became Voldemort?”

“Bai, nalibog na ko!” A Cebuano Atenean shouted!

“Bah! Never mind! Anyone knows the LaSallians can’t spell. So anyway, I stunned Armind a few days ago and using his name and face I used the school and all the other schools to come and find you…”

“But you are too late. I destroyed all the horcruxes”

“No, Potter. I win. You see, while I was Bro. Armind. I was able to find the long lost and most powerful wand in the entire world… the Animo Wand! And you will be its first victim!”

“I don’t think so Tom. I know some things you don’t.”

“Wait. Let me guess. Is it GK? The Ateneans’ favorite solution: GK. Rebuilding lives…

“Tang ina nito ah!” an Atenean shouted.

“Hoy! Gago ka, dude, pare, tsong!” another one jeered

“Silence! The point is: you can’t rebuild Ateneo once I have destroyed it, Potter. Especially now that I have that the Animo Wand!”

“Are you kidding me, Tom?” Harry said “Don’t you get it? The wand chooses the school. The Animo wand does not belong to La Salle! It belongs to the Ateneo.”

“No! You are the fool! The LaSallians have been cheering Animo La Salle for such a long time. The LaSallians truly own the wand and since I am a LaSallian for now, I own it. Die Potter die!”

“But you see, Riddle, you did not review University histories. If you did, you would know that the Ateneans used Animo Ateneo first. And they still use it now. There is even a website right now named AnimoAteneo.com. The Ateneans have reclaimed and Animo Ateneo!”

Silence.

“So. It comes down to this isn’t it?” Harry whispered “Does your wand know that its original owner still values it? If it does, I AM THE TRUE MASTER OF THE ANIMO WAND!”

Voldemort points his wand at Harry who in turn has prepared for the final duel.

“ANIMO LA SALLE!” Voldemort shouted.

“O! GET. THAT. WAND!” Harry shouted.

The curse rebounded and it Voldemort instead of Harry who caught the Animo Wand with his other hand. Cheers from the Ateneans and even some La Sallians, who realized that they were duped were all around.

That morning both Ateneo and La Salle forged a cease fire – temporary because they next day was the Ateneo-La Salle championship. Mama Goldie who was revived after hours of being stunned by Dacanay decided to lift the “No Cheering!” rule during time out. However, she still flinches whenever Dacanay (or any Jesuit for that matter) would approach her.

Epilogue. Nineteen years later.

It was the day of the ACET.

Harry Potter was accompanying his son Ben.

“Dad! What if I fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?”

Harry looked at his son and said “Bienvenido Adolfo! You were named after two of the most powerful Jesuits in the country. One of them is a good friend of ours. In fact he was the one who officiated our marriage.”

“But… but… so what if I DO fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?”

“Eh di bobo ka talaga! But we will still love you as our son!” Harry said. “Alright. You test starts in a few minutes. Make us proud. One Big Fight.”